Friday, April 27; 20:00.
While doing a Zaishen Bounty on GW1 with a friend, someone in Guild Chat shouts that GW2 Beta has already started!
Of course, we immediately log and start up the GW2 client – We can login! Yay!
Made a quick Human Thief because my friend wanted me to tag along for now. Kay, I’ll make my Norn later.
We immediately cannot find each other due the Overflow system. Well, damn.
Shortly after, everyone got kicked from the servers again.
Nobody could login, so we waited..

21:00, Beta officially starts.
Everyone and their mother has connection issues.
Few times I managed to see the character select screen, only for the client to crash.
Took.. 3-4 hours for me to finally log into the game again and make my Norn!
This is my story.

Our story begins with the brave Brave BRAVE Sir Barney Betakins of Hoelbrak, joining this years moot to see if he can participate in the Great Hunt, which is the starting point of every Norn’s legend.

I set forth into the woods after asking where to find some animals to turn into worthy trophies.
A boar, owl griffon or minotaur.

I quickly found this huge boar, which was already being attacked by the locals. Grabbing my mace, I pounded the beast to its demise.

Ah, but Barney was not satisfied. I wanted to kill all three of these foes! Sadly, I never managed to find that minotaur..

My pile of corpses were turned into trophies and I made my way to the arena for some pre-boss fun.
Many monsters were unleashed upon me, and I vanquished them all.

After cleaning my bloodstained armor, Eir called me in to fight against the Great Hunt’s final boos..

A giant wurm of ice..

..who was no match for the glorious Barney Betakins!

With the locals being amazed by my wurm-slaying skills, I was quickly asked to help around.

Ah, but Barney’s ego led him straight into a rampaging attack of Sons of Svanir and he was knocked out cold by them.
Never run into an area with higher leveled foes, Betakins!

After filling a Heart, I made my way to Hoelbrak’s Great Lodge and decided to jump down.
Not a smart idea.

Having found the Asura Gate around the corner, I made my way to Lion’s Arch!

And old Lion’s Arch.

Afterwards I gated my way to Divinity’s Reach. Walking to the exit there.. The portal stopped didn’t work. Many other adventurers were trapped inside the city walls and were searching for ways to escape!
Some time later, it finally activated again and I could go outside to Queensdale to kill things.
There I met this Skritt who thought I was a dragon.

Wanting a change of pace, I press H and went to the PvP Lobby to go do some WvW.
Great fun, except the doors. I hate doors.

Making my way back to Hoelbrak after having leveled a bit, I walked to some Grawl infested areas and killed their God.

Giving birth to another God afterwards.

As I explored the land sup North, I ran into a little village that was being attacked by bears.
After slashing them all apart with my sword, I found out the kids were the cause of this. No wonder.

Some time later, my friend finally got on GW2 again (Different timezones) and we did some Personal Story stuff for his character. After that little adventure, we meditated in the local pub.

I then contemplated suicide.

..fell face-first into the ocean..

..and failed. Got bugged in the process with my normal skillbar never showing up again.
Had to relog, filed a report.

Explored Lion’s Arch’s black market.
Those pirates aren’t very friendly.

Then I went off to do some personal story.

The Mists gives one great seizures.

I also met this guy with a funny face.

Also took a peek in Charr lands. Decided to partake in this event and kill some ghosts.
Found this ghost kitty and “awwwww’d” a bit. Walked to the exit and my client crashed.

After some downtime, I logged back in again and was immediately attacked by the Ascalon Ghost Corps.
I somehow managed to survive and made my way back to Norn lands.

There I participated in another Meta event surrounding the Svanir Dome.
This Champion was its final boss.

After the Lionguard had reclaimed the area, you could access the before-locked hut.
All the ice in this hut was animated as if Barney had smoked too many plants.

Back in Kryta, I was stuck in this pose for a while.

Decided to explore the swamps and the now-sunk Temple of the Ages.
Saw this portal, thinking it was that Shadow Behemoth event.
Was probably some other player’s skill effect.
Couldn’t find Balthazar’s statue though.

I eventually did fight against the Shadow Behemoth.
Twice, even!

My favorite Meta-Boss from this BWE, as the whole battle was pretty epic.

Claimed my loot, but due a full invent I accidentally destroyed two gems.
When I did the event again I got those again as well, but they were far above my level.

One pub in LA had Captain Smash.

This is back from when I was waiting to take down the Shadow Behemoth again.

I was waiting for.. Who knows how long in this camp, sitting on a chair.
Many travelers were starting to think I was a NPC…

Contemplating suicide again: Naked edition.

This relative of Logan Thackery runs a Chocobo farm.

HUGE! HUGER THAN NORN! ..your treasure was worthless, Gort.

A familiar sight: The Kessex Peak Wizard’s Tower.
Apparently it’s now under new management and the owner has filled the nearest town with elementals for their protection. Hearing some stories from the locals, there might be more to this..

Further down the road was the great Tengu wall, surrounding the Dominion of Winds.

Right in front of it was a breeding fissure for Destroyers though.

Was called for a photoshoot with the Guild.
Screenshot me like one of your little French girls.

Looked at some Elite skills in the PvP lobby.

Did some jumping puzzles with the guild and some sightseeing afterwards.

Also found free ale.

South from the free ale was another Meta event going on.
Some Sons of Svanir were opening portals and summoning some giant ice elemental.

Barney and his comrades didn’t allow that, of course. They swiftly killed the Sons of Svanir and their Shaman, putting a stop to their terror for the next 10 minutes.

Back in the town with the kids who play with bears, one kid asked me to help him behead an animal.
After doing so, the head only grew bigger..

..and bigger..

..and bigger.. OH COME ON! That thing is half as big as the entire animal!

If they play with bears, snowballs and other wildlife, surely they’re not afraid of a guy who kills them on a regular basis.

Got drunk before wiping out a Dredge mining camp.
Don’t drink and kill, friends.

Exploring Kessex some more, I found the Quaggan area with the Blood Witch.
While looking for the cave’s entrance, I got attacked by a shark.

And was defeated right in front of said cave after being gangbanged by an army of Krait.

Back in LA, I was looking for the last Points of Interest that I needed to complete the area.
Couldn’t find it anywhere on the map, until I clicked the third layer. It was somewhere in the sky..

Somehow I managed to find my way at the top of Lion’s Arch, some pub right above the merchant’s area.

Walking a bit down and some difficult jumps later, I found this brat.

But it’s quite a nice view.

Back in Ascalon, I had a duel with Darth Vader.

Also visited Ascalon City for its skillpoint.

I’m assuming this is the light of the Foefire?
Maybe it looks more obvious with all settings on max (I had shadows/reflections and such disabled)

And this would be part of the palace I think. Another skillpoint there, but I never survived.

In my attempts to reach the skillpoint, another Meta event was starting up.
Ghost Catapults were shooting at me and these statues cried to be destroyed.

..but by doing so, I summoned their Boss right in front of the stairs.. I gave up.

While checking my mail, the Quaggan thanked me. Who’s awesome? You’re awesome!

Met Santa in The Mists during the personal story.

Damn, this woman has statues everywhere.
Where is MY statue? I did all the work in Eye of the North!!

Yeah… I’m a badass who can’t hit anything from here.
Staff/scepter’s range is horrible. Range advantage? Not for those.

Announcements started to pop up that the beta was coming to an end.
To pass the time, I was sitting on my wooden wolf sled, pulled by hope and wonder.

And made some more screenshots of nighttime LA.

The locals all sleep on the streets. Who needs a bed anyways?

Bought a mystic key with some gems and got an owl tonic out of it.
I flew around while waiting for the Beta finale.

And then, it started.

We stampeded into the woods..

..and killed everything in sight.

Then someone shouted there was something going on at the top of the hill where I slew the giant wurm.
The Legendary White Rabbit was waiting for me.

This battle was basically a slideshow with all the people and effects cluttering the screen.

After the bunny, I got killed by a raccoon. Yes, a raccoon with instant-kill skills.. WTH?!
Bloodthirsty Black Moa’s also roamed the zone now.

Of course, another Dynamic Event started in the middle of it.

Our hunt continued North, where another Meta event was in its final stages..

So we kicked its ass to add more Norn Glory to our resume.

And after that, everyone got kicked out of the game and the beta ended.
During this, I did many other things in-game as well.
Trying crafting (and failing, as all I had was higher-level stuff); running around as a level 3 Thief in the swamps; Eir glitching in the personal story, gaining the ability of defying gravity; trying to jump into a lake, but dropping dead on the shore instead; and fighting my favorite NPC, the Windmill King.
I’m having withdrawal symptoms already..